Gazeebo De Lala: dunno what to do...

Kuya Pardz / Kaloy / Mama Mich / Chai / Jichael / Aleli / Cass / Colleen / Jane / Mark / Keisha / Kim / Kris / Anakat / Maryel

Lalans by heart, Bedans by blood

Thursday, July 06, 2006

dunno what to do...

for the past couple of days...people have been telling me that i look like i have a problem and that i should just let it out. i just smile and say that it's not true but to be honest there is something bothering me. in true pardz fashion i just deny it and pretend that everything's ok.

the truth is, it's better to just live in denial rather than face the truth. i've heard it all before and i was disappointed the last time. i just don't want to get my hopes up...but it looks like i already have and if it doesn't work out again i don't know what i'm gonna do. i was already given a sign that things may work out this time around but then if it does i have another problem. i have to make a choice...a choice whether to stick around or get a fresh new start. if you know me very well or if you've been reading some of my previous entries you'd know that i've been wanting a fresh start ever since i could remember and now that i may actually get it i don't know if i'm strong enough to take it. maybe this is what i need or maybe i'd finally find what i've been looking for. i can't think about it in "what if's" and "maybe's" thruth is i've got to make a choice whether i'd like the outcome or not.


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