Anakat Entry 1: half empty, half full

jan23, 06 10:27pm

how am i suppose to look at my life?

should i be happy? few people would want to be in my position. being able to study abroad and somehow be able to get what i want (not everything though).

or should i be sad? to have be the one to leave friends and loved ones behind. to miss out on alot of events and hang out with friends. and so on and so forth.

for me, i'm ok with it. just ok. yes, i'm ready to leave the Philippines and move to London for a few years mainly coz of my dad's job. i have my reasons why i want to leave, to be able to start anew. total change of surrondings, surroundings that are so full of memories (mostly painful). and it would do good for my education too. especially for the future. in 5 years time, we all would be working. then i could really be independent.

but it's so hard to leave when you have so much to leave behind. all my friends, especially those really close and special to me (they know who they are), is the main reason i don't want to leave. everything would be different. if i had any problems, my friends are just a text or a call away. but that wouldn't be possible if i were far away. of course, i would have friends there too. but i love my friends now and i ain't looking for anything more. or if we were to hang-out, it would be easy. yeah, if i was here. but no, i can't text them and tell them to meet up in Paris or Italy. well, definitely it's gonna be hard. but i think i can handle it.

love life? hmmm. i don't want to dwell on that subject too much. all i'm gonna say is that i'm happy right now. i really am. whatever the situation is. if there is one thing i've learned from my past relationship is how painful love really is. but that shouldn't (and it definitely wouldn't) stop me from loving again. and it's a wonderful feeling. it's really beautiful. =)

so how do i view my life right now? well it doesn't really matter. coz even if life sucks. even if reality hits me hard. i'm ok with it. and with that i'm happy. i've got my restback anyway. and whatever happens in the future, i would be to handle it. i'll just keep on smiling and singing... =)

"what about love?
what about feeling?
what about all the things
that make life worth living?
what about faith?
what about trust?
oh baby, tell me,
what about us?"


[currently listening to: what about us?]