Gazeebo De Lala: Ahh... Life continues Rolling. We're here.

Kuya Pardz / Kaloy / Mama Mich / Chai / Jichael / Aleli / Cass / Colleen / Jane / Mark / Keisha / Kim / Kris / Anakat / Maryel

Lalans by heart, Bedans by blood

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Ahh... Life continues Rolling. We're here.

From now on, I'm smiling.

"Life" is so beautiful...
Why ruin it's wonderful color by crying for "ugly" things...

Some truths reveal themselves...

Even if they can be so nasty, it's worth considering. My mind's working and I'm not going to be fooled again by some ugly creature that tries to take over my life...

The only thing that can make me sad now is the death of my dog, Shinji.

May that dog rest in peace. And with that, I symbolically bury all my feelings: hurt, anger, fear, bitterness.

Don't be sad because I have moved on. I'm not being sarcastic here.

No one will bring me down.

I'm not allowing anybody anymore.

I'm contented with my life.

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want."

I can still love.

I still love everybody, like I always do.

I won't be bitter anymore.
It's only for losers.

Thank God I've come back to myself.

I'm not saying that I didn't love at all.
I'm not saying that I didn't feel loss.
Actually I really was sad.

Even devastated perhaps.

I was grieving for the loss of a great love.
And that great love was what I have GIVEN.

Received? I don't know... I hope.

The only thing that was worth crying for was the lost effort, energy, time, dreams perhaps.

Well, the truth is it's not actually a loss.

I've had experiences.

Plenty of wonderful ones.

But more nasty ones.

I've learned many lessons. (From myself actually.)

But finally it's through.

I'm not saying that I don't cry at night anymore.

But I'm not pitying myself anymore.


I guess it's time to defend myself.
And I mean my real self.

I've accepted this diverse self of mine. The weeping child, the fighting girl, the proud person, the loyal friend, the loving martyr, the weakling, the bold, and even the weird woman. Finally, I got them all reconciled.

Special thanks to my logical, honest, problem-solving, many-layered mind.

Also I would like to give gratitude to my dearest friends... Lalans... (I read our blog...) Mama mich... Buddy... My best wicked friend Karlo V... My evil but nice step family in UP, my blockmates, and my professors who never fail to keep my head full of things and homework, quizzes and papers to think about.

Most of all, I thank God, the Holy Spirit, St. Benedict, St. Jude, St. Anthony, Mama Mary and Jesus, my Superfriend.


BTW: We are not alone... Being alone is only a state of mind. Everybody is a part of us... So they are always WITH us. Actually, IN us. And, let me not forget this: If we are alone right now, then where is GOD?

Another thing, why would you feel alone? I'm not a wall flower. Friends are not members of the plant Kingdom... Smile!


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