Gazeebo De Lala: June 2007

Kuya Pardz / Kaloy / Mama Mich / Chai / Jichael / Aleli / Cass / Colleen / Jane / Mark / Keisha / Kim / Kris / Anakat / Maryel

Lalans by heart, Bedans by blood

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The ultimate end of Freedom is Love. - Viktor Frankl

Friends... This is it! Hehehe.

Natutuwa ako. Parang scripted lahat ng nangyari. Pati setting. Pati date. Parang may nagplano... Wah... June 12, Independence Day. Sa ilalim ng pinakamalaking puno sa UPM. hehehe... Kulang na lang, falling leaves... Haha. Official na. Hayyyy... Maybe, it was chance. destiny. chamba. but in the end, a decision was made. Hehe! Kami na. Nagsimula sa isang maliit na papel na naglalaman ng pangalan nyang nabunot ko 3 years ago ang dahilan... At hindi ko alam kung bakit noong wala pa akong idea kung ano ang mangyayari 3 years later, ay nagkaroon ng "moment" sa ala-ala ko na hindi ko malilimutan... Hahaha... Salamat sa lahat ng naging dahilan. Sa lahat ng sumusuporta... Salamt po.

Wala na akong masabi. *sigh. Hehe. (^_^)

Friday, June 15, 2007

happy anniv to me!

yes people, one year anniv for me being here. hay. kalungkot talaga. i miss so many people!! i simply miss pinas! so bad. even after a year. i think it will never go away. waaah!

in commemoration, please visit:
feedbacks are greatly appreciated.

to all my friends, i love you guys and miss you all dearly. muwah!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

My heart's gonna die anytime soon...

i don't know now..

i really don't know what to do with my life now, really.. i'm so tired of living this unjust life..

it's kinda unusual for this to happen, not knowing what to do with life.. because i always plan things, and that includes my future..

but not this time..

life is f***ing unfair, really.. i know i sound so cynical.. well, you just need a slap or two in the face to realize that it is true..

life is so full of bull.. fortunately, we invented the word "happiness" that embodies everything that's opposite "misery", which envelopes our destiny as humans..

and this day is like bi-polar day.. at start, i was experiencing happiness according to my context of the word.. but now, i am so desolate that i'm wishing that i was not even born at all..

everybody may look at me as the most shitty person Someone up there ever created.. but sometimes, i just think i am misunderstood..

yeah i know, you've heard of this shit a couple of times before.. well, the same shit happens to me everytime.. i'm not to blame..

actually, it almost happens to me every single damn day of my life.. and the issue is with my mom..

yes, blame me for being the worst son ever.. but i blame you for having the mistake of killing my soul with that..

there are tons of things i would like to share about my relationship with my mom.. actually, i already did share some of them in my previous entries.. but of course, some are better kept and discussed with people you are intimate with, like your barkada, your best buds, or yourself via blog..

i know it's kinda rude, but i will cut this entry short with some thoughts..

1) one should never underestimate the experiences another has undergone or is undergoing.. gravity works in different ways.. (go figure..)

2) one should never divert his negative feelings for a thing or memory toward another..

3) things are not always meant to be talked about..

4) be sensitive enough to be patient toward some people who, by nature, just don't like being told what to do, especially the little things that don't matter to that person..

5) it is true that everybody has a bad past, but reflect once in a while if that past is projected thru your present actions.. it sometimes hurts the people around you..

6) things you do to other people are not always applicable to other people..


i may not know now what to do with myself anymore for having a bad relationship with my mother..

but two things are for sure..

that we are both wrong..

and that my heart's gonna die anytime soon..

i don't know, maybe with lack of blood, lack of oxygen, lack of warmth, lack of answers, lack of justice, lack of understanding, lack of.. everything, perhaps.. or simply put, for having nothing at all..

who knows where will my mother and me be after i post this entry.. well, only that Someone up there knows for sure..

what i know is that talking to this inanimate friend in front of me won't give my heart CPR when it finally dies..


Tuesday, June 05, 2007

How to have a bad-and-then-good day...

step one:

immediately after you open your eyes from slumber, grab your cellphone and play Super Real Tennis.. play and play until your arms experience fatigue.. stop when you have had enough of losing to those one-inch pixelized tennis players..

step two:

go to your dining room and let your acid-covered stomach be greeted "good mornin' mate!" by an empty table..

step three:

feel like a hungry pathetic loser who was just hit by a cellphone game with a tennis racket..

step four:

grab your cellphone that just rang, and take a look at the text message, which reveals that you should go and find a place, like a beach resort, where your family could spend 3 days and 2 nights of semi-summer vacation this weekend..

step five:

if your mother offers to cut your fingernails and toenails for free, say yes..

step six:

buy at the small food stall at the back of your house some sweet and spicy sauce in squid balls and onion vinegar with lumpiang ubod..

step seven:

prove to your seemingly not-really-a-friend friend that you are a true friend..

step eight:

write about it on your blog.. like this.. duh?